So You Want To Be a Dominant, Huh? (Part 4)

Posted on December 20, 2011 by admin

Your Personal Development as a Dom

Hi all

This is going to be My last blog before the holidays and I thought I would talk about what you need to be thinking about if you want to become a Dominant. For those of you who are already Doms, whatever your sexuality, you may find this blog post useful.

I am all for learning and right up to the day I leave this planet I will be learning. I would strongly encourage you to keep learning and developing your craft, as well as yourself as an individual. The areas of your life you are likely to be developing will include:

  • spiritual – whatever this means to you; it does not matter whether you are an atheist, agnostic, humanist, pagan, believing in your own divinity/godhood, or religious, you need to find ways that are compatible with your belief systems to develop your spirituality. Perhaps, particularly if you’re an atheist or non-religious person, this may be called charisma or even morality, since one can be charismatic and/or moral without being religious. In any case it doesn’t hurt to work on ensuring that whatever you engage in is in line with your values and beliefs. Some call this your emotional guidance system, conscience, etc;
  • intellectual – this may be through books, seminars, networking with other doms to discuss philosophies, and so on; again, I will say, all this learning is no substitute for experience. Don’t be afraid to try things out, for example, trying out new toys on yourself first before using them on others. If your sub is already highly experienced in a particular activity and they have no problems teaching that to you, open yourself up to the idea of learning from them. Don’t for get the legal aspects either;
  • physical – goes without saying. Look after your health, engage in activities to get fit and stay fit; if this includes bodybuilding because this would add something to your persona as well as help you develop and maintain a health and fitness lifestyle, that’s cool too. Listen to your body and take time to rest where necessary;
  • emotional – I think it is very important to say here that if you are going into BDSM and you are emotionally unstable or have unresolved psychological issues, you may find out that with all the best intentions in the world that you bring more harm than good not only to a sub, but also to yourself; seek help if and when you need it, including professional help preferably before you start BDSM;
  • skills and abilities – linked with the intellectual area, think about what skills and abilities you wish to develop; what tools you would be comfortable using, and what activities you would be comfortable engaging in or learning;
  • career – is BDSM something you wish to engage in full time or part time alongside your day job? I would also link this with the intellectual in the sense that whatever you are learning would inform your practice (and, perhaps, vice versa). For example, My own postgraduate studies inform My professional practice. Is there a plan in place for how you would make this area of your life a success?
  • relationships – do you have a network of friends, associates, mentor(s) that you associate with on a regular basis. This can include social networks, both online and offline. I’ve listed a couple of organisations below for starters. You may have other networks that you tap into.

Peace and a propserous 2012 to you all…I am The Blackhulk

Sources you may wish to check out:

  1. The Spanner Trust
  2. SM Gays
  3. SM 101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman. This book was the very first that I read on the subject of BDSM and it is still a part of My library.
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So You Want to be a Dominant, Huh? (Part 3)

Posted on December 9, 2011 by admin

Hi all

I thought I’d call the tag line for this blog ‘Flippin’ Doms‘. I grew up in the Church, so to speak, so My life was pretty sheltered until My sexual awakening in the early 1990s. When I came out of the closet I had no idea of the complex, label-driven, binary-gendered sexual politics that existed within the gay community: top-bottom-versatile, active/masculine-passive/feminine, sadist-masochist, and all the other static and shifting role permutations in between.

My naievete was such that when I was in Amsterdam at My first fetish party, there was a muscular guy standing before Me in a white jockstrap and exposing a very beautiful hairy butt. I was stroking it for a few seconds when he firmly removed My hand. I asked the friend I was with what this meant and he had to explain to Me that the guy was a top and many tops do not like anyone touching their butts.

Many gay men, even today, have an issue with flipping sex roles because of their socialisations, and equating sexual with gender roles. In hypermasculinsed communities such as the black community, many men, including married men, are on the DL, and there seems to be this notion among the men in this community that having a homosexual experience does not make one gay. I happen to agree with this notion. However, there is one thing I have a problem with: we are not very good at dealing with emotions and accepting how we truly feel about one another. Particularly when there is a strong erotic attraction between each other. Our sexual roles are linked with our self images. I am a man because I am doing the fucking/in the active role.

I am going to share an experience here that has surprised many. I started My BDSM journey around the turn of the century. Because of My professional background as an educator, I hold a belief that all good teachers are also good learners. I decided to take this belief over in the BDSM field and changed My online profile to say that I was looking to serve a Master. Goes without saying that I thought I needed to do this to become a better Master.

Without going into detail, someone found Me and I served for eight months. What did I learn? I think you already know the answer to that question if you have been following My writings. My term of service was a time a awakening for Me, a second one, if you will. For those of you who don’t know the answer to the question it is this: submission is an attitide, just as dominance is an attitude. It does not matter to Me if you have a list of skills and abilities as long as your arm, as valuable or useful as these are in the match-making process.

If you have not flipped roles, I question whether you are not missing out on something. But what do I know? Every individual is unique. Perhaps your knowledge and experience are such that you do not need to flip in either direction. Switching roles, whether you want to be a dom or a sub, is an experience to be valued, since it will give you an insight into the mindset of the Other, as well as an appreciation of what is involved. If the experiences are particularly good, you may find that you wish to confirm your new sexual role with the option of flipping should you need to. The downside of this is that the experiences may leave you cold, unfulfilled and confirmed in your current sexual role. Again let Me repeat here, research is important if you are going to explore your submissive side with another dom. Along with doing your research, getting the timing right is also vital.

Perhaps, in closing, I could ask the question: is your sexual role tied in with your self image? Bear in mind that your self image is not just the way you see yourself. It also includes your beliefs about how others see you, which could also be validated by what they say to you. If other men discovered that you occasionally gave up your ass, or indeed the rest of your body to another assuming a dominant or active role, do you think they would think any less of you, that you are not a real man?

Maybe there is nothing to fear here. After all, if I may use gay pornography as a reference point, there appears to be an increase in the number of tops who are bottoming and doms who are subbing. For those of us who consume such media, it could be argued that these porn actors are legitimising our deep-rooted fantasies and desires; they are saying: ‘go ahead, do it, it is ok, you know you want to’…

Peace…I AM The Blackhulk

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Blackhulk.com – Site Update

Posted on November 18, 2011 by admin

Hi everyone

The changes to My business are taking a little longer than expected. I am still working out the following:

  • legal aspects of the business, i.e., terms and conditions, insurance, etc;
  • the rates and payment options (for now, I will say I am no longer doing hourly sessions; I am offering packages only. Details to follow on the website);
  • health and safety issues, risk assessments, first aid and AED qualifications to be obtained;
  • application form for submissives to be designed for the website, having obtained the relevant permissions;
  • testing of the new website design and usability – to follow later on this month.

With these changes, required administration for pre-launch and all the other stuff I have going on, I estimate the new date for the launch of the business and website will be March 2012. Stay tuned!

Peace…I AM The Blackhulk

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So You Want To Be A Dominant, Huh? (Part 2)

Posted on November 15, 2011 by admin

What Kind of Power Do You Have?

Within the BDSM context (esp) and outside of it, whether you are a dominant or submissive, everyone has power. Power has different meanings in different situations and contexts. With regard to the social sciences, it means (as a philosophy) the ability to exert one’s influence over one’s environment; the ability (in communication) to exert one’s will over others. Other definitions include the ability of a minority to control the means of production (class power), the ability to use threats to obtain what one wants (managerial power); and power over administration of public resources (political power). For more definitions see Dictionary.com and wikipedia.org.

If you are a student of management as I am, you may have come across the different types of power listed below. There are different and modern variations on this list which refers to the types of power that are exerted within the workplace. I will attempt to apply the meanings within the BDSM context, given that everyone has power. You do not have to be able to feel it, or be aware of it to have it. You may also use different types of power in different situations.

  • Do you have coercive power? Do people fear the consequences of not doing what they are told because of your dominant position? Some dominants are skilled at intimidation.
  • Perhaps you have connection power. This is based on who you know and may include having the ear of powerful/influential people. Much of what goes on in the BDSM subculture is based on word of mouth. If you haven’t read My blog entry on doing research, I recommend that you read it. Just as submissives need to do their research on dominants, dominants need to find out about their subs. When I recruit a submissive, particularly an experienced one, one of the requirements is that I must be able to contact the dominant who released him/her for a reference.
  • As a dominant, you are most likely to have expert power in at least one area of BDSM. If you are searching for a dominant online, you will find some profiles where dominants and submissives list their areas of experience and expertise. I prefer to allow such to grow and develop organically. I am also prepared to learn from experienced submissives. This comes from being an educator by profession. This power can also include knowledge and expertise acquired outside of BDSM and some submissives may use this power to effectively negotiate with the dominant, and even manipulate the dominant. It must also be said here that many submissives choose this route, having had quite extensive experience as dominants.
  • Do you have access to valuable or important information? This is informational power. This kind of power is easily abused through manipulation or intimidation, though both of these devices may be part of a negotiated contract between the dominant and submissive.
  • Legitimate or positional power often comes with education and experience and includes role descriptions and responsibilities. If you are a dominant, or intend to become one, one question that is often asked of you is: what are your expectations? Doing your own research, introspection, and speaking with others can help in clarifying things if this doesn’t come very easily for you.
  • Are you well-liked or do you command respect, even if you are not a dominant? This is referent power.
  • Reward power is the ability to bestow rewards when the submissive has met your requirements and done what you have asked of them.

Now that you understand the different types of power and you know what type of power you have, the question then becomes: how do you use this power? Is it purely for your benefit with disregard for the submissive, or is there are sharing of that power? You will find that in the world of BDSM, ‘deep affection and enduring friendships’ can grow out of casual BDSM encounters. These encounters often require a lot of preparation, attention to detail, as well as intimacy and trust between participants. In his discussions of BDSM, Foucault saw the practice of domination as a means for creating pleasure, with personal and political power being subjugated to this goal.

I will agree with this up to a point. While most submissives are more than happy to hand over power and control to a dominant, some dominants (as well as subs) have power needs that are tied in with self esteem and belongingness needs, according to Maslow, and these are usually negotiated within BDSM sessions. In addition, there is in Western (particularly highly masculine) societies a characteristic identified by Mercado, et al, as power distance, which is defined as ‘the extent to which a society expects and accepts inequalities between its people, and an unequal distribution of power and responsibility’. I believe this can be applied within the BDSM context as the power distribution between dominant and submissive occurs naturally, even if the submissive is more experienced in some areas than the dominant (see notes on expert power above). Until the submissive hands over power and control to the dominant.

By the way, do you understand that when a submissive hands over power and control to you, that person is giving you a gift?

Peace. I AM…The Blackhulk

Sources cited:

Saint Foucault: Towards a gay hagiography by David M. Halpern

European Business by Simon Mercado, Richard Welford and Kate Prescott

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So You Want to be a Dominant, Huh?

Posted on November 8, 2011 by admin

Hi everyone

I have constantly questioned, given My limited experiences to date, and the wealth of experience and knowledge that already exist around the subject of dominance and submission,whether or not I am the best person to be doing this blog. There are numerous publications that already exist and that are indeed highly useful whether you want to be a dominant or submissive.

Nevertheless, as with the blogs for submissives, I am going to be presenting some general ideas and observations based on my own experiences and interactions with doms and subs.

To begin this blog, I was asked the question some time ago about the difference between a Daddy and a Master. One supposition is that, the terms being similar to Western ideas about what a Daddy or Master is, the Master is unemotional and does not get involved emotionally with a slave, whereas a Daddy is more romantic with his boys. This is too simplistic a definition. Given the different types of personalities, experiences, values, the blending together of eastern and western philosophies, the types of societies, namely, masculine and feminine, and the socialisation within such societies, there are going to be permutations of the master-daddy/slave-boy dynamic that defy (Western, esp) expectations. For example, in the BDSM arena there are boys who are married to their Daddies, slaves to their masters; there are slaves who support their masters financially and vice-versa. There are masters who are emotionally attached to their slaves, though that is as far as their emotional involvement will go. Of course, some of these attachments can weaken the dynamic and the relationship will take a lot of work to ensure any boundaries agreed at the beginning of the relationship are adhered to or are re-negotiated to mutual satisfaction.

OK, so you want to be a dominant? If, like me, you are into introspection (and even if you’re not), the first question you will want to ask yourself is:

  • why do you want to be a dominant? A cursory browse through gay online profiles will uncover a style of dominance that adheres to the androcentric view of sex. From a cynical point of view, this generally means the wham-bam-no-thank-you-boy-get-out-of-my-sight type of sex and granted some slaves will want to go with that fantasy because they’ve seen it (or example) in porn. You will see a lot of profiles with relatively young guys who want to sexually dominate others through sex, and that for them is domination. It is, however, just one tiny part of what dominance and submission is all about and therefore very limited. This is the simple top-bottom, no-strings-attached sexual encounter, and is typically androcentric.

Dominance is not merely about action, it is an attitude, just as submission is an attitude. This may come, as with submission, from nature or nurture or both. Remember the story in My last blog about the wind and the sun. It is the difference between doing and being. We in the West worship doing. Just about everything in popular culture, including the majority of so-called blockbuster movies we see, is about doing. As an aside, I do wonder if these movies are partly to do with our collective guilt and helplessness as a society to do anything about the world’s ills. Notwithstanding that we are positively contributing in our own way.

However, as is typical of Me, I digress. Why do you want to be a dominant? Do you want to simply have a fuck buddy? Or are you genuinely interested in the welfare and well-being of boys and slaves who will be looking to you for guidance, to share something much deeper with you than a casual sexual encounter? Do you have power needs going beyond the sexual that would be satisfied by becoming a dominant? Are you prepared to become a lifelong learner to developing yourself with a view to becoming a more rounded individual, a better person?

When I was starting out as a dominant, I got a lot of requests from guys who claimed they wanted to sub for Me but I soon found were only interested in sex. Still do. You have to understand that this was during the early days of My coming out experiences and I had yet to learn about sexual politics in the gay community. The one question I asked was: if I did not touch you for six months would you still serve Me? I look back now and think, how brutal and ignorant I was. The vast majority, of course, said no. I was, and am, interested in quality, not quantity. Of course, My recruiting technique has vastly improved and nowadays, I have a handful of slaves and boys who are loyal to Me because they KNOW what it means to serve someone.

Peace…I AM The Blackhulk

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The Boy’s Bill of Rights

Posted on September 29, 2011 by admin

Hi everyone

I hope you have enjoyed reading My blogs and found them instructive. Particularly those aimed at submissives.

I am in the process of writing up a series for Dominants. In the meantime, I recently came across these notes in a profile (link provided below). As I am looking into BDSM and ethics as part of My research for My degree/business reconfiguration, I found the Boy’s Bill of Rights more or less falls in line with My own thinking. If this list has been taken from an already published text, do let Me know and I will acknowledge it.

I will also investigate the possibility of a similar Bill existing for Doms. If none exists, I will attempt to provide one here.

Here goes -

The Boys’ Bill of Rights

1. Every boy has the right to have his body, intellect, and emotions protected by his Dom.

2. Every boy has the right to choose the man whom he serves and to discontinue that service and take his leave without being subjected to physical, mental, or emotional abuse.

3. Every boy has the right to be cared for, disciplined appropriately, and allowed to feel pride in his submission.

4. Every boy has the right to protected sex if he so wishes.

5. Every boy has the right to privacy if he so wishes. No boy can be blackmailed, publicly humiliated, or physically coerced into service without his expressed desire to be so.

6. Every boy has the right to defend himself from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse.

7. Every boy has the right to consent or not to consent to sexual activities.

8. Every boy has the right to seek refuge, counsel, and advice from other subs and Doms without the expectation of sex, money, or any other service in return.

9. Every boy has the right to a physically and emotionally available circle of friends.

10. Every boy has the right to protect his own possessions and finances against intercession, theft, and non-consensual acquisition.

The link to the profile is here (and I haven’t told him I am doing this yet, so I do hope he is ok with it).

muscleboy70 – seriously hot – 41, and at 5ft 7in, he may be short, however, he is no pushover!

Peace…I AM The Blackhulk

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So You Want to be a Submissive, Huh? (Part 5)

Posted on September 2, 2011 by admin

Hi everyone

In the last post, I talked about being aware of the ways in which you learn and discovering your personality type as part of your introspection and preparation for subbing. In this final post I am going to talk about the difference between service and servicing. What I am going to share is My understanding of these terms and their application. Nonetheless, the distinctions are provided to enable and empower both the submissive and the dominant.

The last two decades or so has seen a paradigm shift in sexual politics from the dominant to the submissive, the top to the bottom, the active to the passive. Whether pornography, for example is directly responsible for this shift or simply a reflection of it, is not yet known. It is only one of several variables. There has been a distinct shift in focus from subs wanting to serve their doms in the traditional way, through activities such as running errands, providing personal care/grooming, office work, web design, cleaning (for example) to servicing and being serviced as in sex. They use language such as ‘slut’, ‘bitch, ‘whore’, ‘sex slave’. I am not arguing whether or not this shift is empowering for bottoms. I would, however, suggest that this is disempowering for doms, because in these modern scenarios, doms are now sex toys. Role reversal? You bet! One side effect of this shift is that subs, in asserting their individuality (a subject I will discuss in this blog), end up mistreating and disrespecting their doms. Being a leatherman/woman, is no longer about having integrity, respect and honour. It is ‘I want what I want and if you don’t give it to me I will go somewhere else’. I see this as a reflection of our obsession with instant gratification and disposability. Doms no longer command respect; they have to earn it. This may not be a bad thing, given the many incompetent doms that exist who are only in it for their own pleasure.

Apart from those doms who facilitate this very limited activity, I would like to remind you those of you who want to sub:

  • it is not about you!! Your dom comes first. Your number one job is to make your dom look good and to satisfy his/her needs, whatever they are. You need to think of the skills, abilities and resources you have that you can make available to your dom.

On the other hand – it is. Confused? Confusion is gooooood! There is much research to indicate that masculine societies promote and demonstrate masculine principles such as aggression, competition, meritocracy, decisiveness, materialism, results, strong leadership and individualism. Feminine societies promote and demonstrate feminine principles such as social relationships, co-operation, compromise, and they also focus on life qualities instead of performance outcomes.

Aggression and competition have always been with us. Individualism, now that’s something else. Unless I am wrong, the modern rise in individualism coincided with the Thatcher years. Baroness Thatcher was prime minister of the UK from 1979 to 1990. I leave it to you to uncover for yourselves the political, social, economic and technological trends that facilitated this rise. The UK, incidentally, is a masculine society.  So are the following countries: US, Greece, Italy, Austria, Ireland and Germany. I am not aware of any research done in Australia, Africa, the Middle East, or the Far East (with the exception of Japan – high masculine-low individualist society).

There is one other point I wish to make before I finish. Those of us who come from masculine societies are very strong willed. For those subs seeking mental control from their doms, you have a distinct advantage over them if you have studied psychology and/or human resources management (HRM) type subjects. This knowledge is a resource; it can help or hinder your quest to fully submit to a dom. What usually happens in these cases is that the doms are always capable of exerting physical dominance, though never being able to control the mind, as much as the sub would like them to. The subs on the other hand use their skills to manipulate the dom into giving them what they want.

One solution to this dilemma, if it can be called such, is to find a dom who follows both masculine and feminine principles. This has nothing really to do with biology or physical appearance, although I am not ruling out its importance to a sub. Nor has it anything to do with hypermasculine or effeminate behaviour, though this is more related to internalised homophobia in the submissive.

So, which is it to be: to serve, or merely to service/be serviced? I am not saying they are mutually exclusive. For some doms, it’s not about sex. Yes, sex is important, and can be used as reward or punishment (that’s another story which I may cover) by the dom. An old school dom will usually ask the question: why do you want to serve? You MUST be able to answer this question in much the same way as if you were at an interview for the job of your dreams. If you are unable to answer this question and you are still willing to serve (NOT service), take your time. Do speak to other subs if you are able to. Read around the subject. Find a dom who is willing to take you on trial to give you a taste for submission. You may or may not have to pay for the opportunity. Negotiate if you can. Do whatever it takes to get this understanding and awareness rather than rush.

You may find, after all this soul-searching, that all you want is to fulfil a fantasy and that fantasy is based on a purely physical experience. That’s OK. Just be honest with yourself and say so. If the dom sees potential in you and is willing to invest time and energy, that understanding and awareness can gradually dawn on you through your interactions with the dom. That is probably rare. It does happen, however.

Peace…I AM The Blackhulk

Sources I have used: European Business by Simon Mercado, Richard Welford and Kate Prescott; The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W Hardy.

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So You Want to be a Submissive, Huh? (Part 4b)

Posted on August 30, 2011 by admin

Hi everyone

In this section I am going to talk about personality types and tests. I ended Part 4a on a note which perhaps could have started this section and that is the mistake some subs make when interacting with a dominant, whereby the project a fantasy upon the dominant that leaves him/her dehumanised, empty, dissatisfied, unfulfilled. What dominant would want to continue having such encounters without being properly compensated for them? Personally, I do not mind interracial encounters. For those of you who do not understand what this is all about, I have two words. Actually, four. The first two: Bobby Blake, former porn actor and now a minister of religion I understand. The second two words: Niggaz Revenge. Both archetypes of the black powerfully built top dominating white guys, in this case, neo-nazis.

I often get subs projecting this fantasy on to Me and I have to become an actor with a totally different mindset that is totally opposite to My introverted personality. It is exhausting, though when I am in that headspace it has been enjoyable!

Which leads Me to the next question:

  • what is your personality type? Your personality basically falls into one of two types: introvert and extrovert. However, as with sexuality, even personality cannot be that black and white.

There are many online tests you can take to find out your personality type. Some are fun tests, like the Superhero Quiz, and the controversial Straight-Acting.com Quiz. However, if you are really serious about knowing who you are and what makes you tick, go for the tests that are based on actual research. Ideally, do up to three. I go by this principle in cases like this in an attempt at triangulation, where one uses three research methods to test and corroborate a theory.

I took these tests out of curiosity and as part of ongoing introspection when I needed to know where to take my life and career. I trust you will find them useful.

1. The Myers-Briggs Indicator (MBTI) has its origins in Jungian typology theory. There is a free test of about 70 questions which you may take here. Make sure you read the instructions. You will also find career information that fits your personality type when you’ve had the results. Much of the information – especially where to study – is American-based but don’t let that bother you.

2. The BBC on its Science and Nature pages has a collection of tests and surveys to do with personality. Have a go at some or all of them. The one I’ve used with students with called ‘What Am I Like?‘ The link to the whole collection is here. You will need to scroll down to find the one I used to use and has now been replaced by The Big Personality Test.

3. The Keisey Temperament website provides testing using the MBTI model and goes much further in that in addition to your personality type, you can do additional testing for career, motivation, leadership and teamworking. The results you get from doing these tests is provided in a kind of skeleton format or sample report. For the full results you pay a modest fee. The site also provides very detailed descriptions of the four MBTI temperaments. Go to the website here. To take the test go to About the KTS II menu and select Take the KTS-II.

Taking these tests confirmed much I already knew about Myself, and provided insights into much I wanted and needed to learn in order to progress along My career and life path.

Peace…I AM The Blackhulk

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So You Want to be a Submissive, Huh? (Part 4a)

Posted on August 30, 2011 by admin

Hi everyone

I really appreciate you taking the time to read these blogs. I do hope you are finding the information enlightening and useful. Over the past week, I have been speaking with subs and slaves who are seeking to learn more about what it really means to serve. A theme that appears to be emerging is that of the mismatch. This is where your expectations of what you want do not match the skillset and experience of the dominant you’re interested in. This leads Me to the first of two questions:

  • how do you learn? In other words, what is your learning style? In my academic career, one of the things I do is to carry out diagnostic test of students’ learning styles.
  • what is your personality type? I will address this in Part 4b of this blog.

There are various models and tests you may or may not be familiar with. Some of these can be done online, for free or at a fairly modest price. The ones I share here are the ones I am familiar with are the ones I have used in my teaching career to date. I will not go into them in detail or offer a critique of them. I mention them as tools available for you to try out.

The first model is a very old one and is still in use today in many colleges and universities in the UK and it is the preferred method of assessment within local government. It is the Honey and Mumford model. This model I learnt about in the 1990s and it identifies four types of learners: activist (has experiences), reflector (reviews experiences), theorist (draws conclusions from experiences), pragmatist (plans the next stage). The test is usually administered very early on in the learning programme and the results are used to plan lessons. I took this test (80 questions) and I am predominantly a theorist which means I can get to grips with abstract ideas and see the big picture.

The second model is Fleming’s VAK model. Again, this is widely used in the UK education system. VAK is visual, auditory, and kinesthetic. Do you learn by watching a video of the subject (visual)? Do you learn better by sitting in a room and listening to a speaker (auditory)? Or do you learn by using your hands (kinesthetic)? These are just some examples of the questions that are asked on the test – not necessarily exactly framed as such. Some people who do this test are equal in all styles and such learners need to have sensory-rich experiences that will enhance their learning. I took this test and I am predominantly auditory. A manifestation of this style is I have a tendency to speak My thoughts out loud.

One method I started using this year is highly controversial in that it has yet to be subject to extensive empirical testing. It is based on Thomas Armstrong’s Multiple Intelligences theory where he identified seven different intelligences. His work is based on Howard Gardner’s Multiple Intelligences model and he came across it when dealing with children diagnosed with learning difficulties and ADHD. He was a learning disabilities specialist himself and through interaction with these children he was able to identify these different intelligences – which he called ‘gifts’ – of these children labelled with these ‘disabilities’. These intelligences are: linguistic, logical-mathematical, spatial, bodily-kinesthetic, musical, interpersonal and intrapersonal. Guess which one I am.

An ideal learning situation, particularly within BDSM, and excluding sensory deprivation sessions, would include a rich sensory experience that engages at least Fleming’s VAK model as well as Armstrong’s.

I realise that this is not the way many doms operate. Old-school doms lay down the law and say how it’s going to be with little or no room for negotiation. This is all very well if the dom is very skilled and experienced at what h/she does and includes some kind of after-care for the sub. Otherwise, it is simply an exercise in hypermachismo designed to bolster the insecurities of the dominant. If that is what the sub wants and he wants to be totally disconnected from the experience this may put the dominant in a position where h/she is dehumanised to satisfy a particularly fantasy, often borrowed from pornography. This is often true of interracial encounters, perhaps the subject of another blog(?) and in which case the dominant is left dissatisfied and unfulfilled.

For a discussion of learning style, try Wikipedia

To take the Multiple Intelligences Test click here. This one is provided by the Birmingham Grid for Learning and is used in Key Stage 3. However, I have successfully used this for over 16s. There should be information on the site for how to read the results which are displayed in pie-chart form.

Go to Part 4b

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So You Want to be a Submissive, Huh? (Part 3)

Posted on August 26, 2011 by admin

Hi everyone

The past couple of weeks has been a very busy time for Me as I bashed out five essays for my Masters degree. They were all completed in the wee hours of yesterday morning and handed in later that day. For a quick unwind, I had a quiet celebration with a bottle of Merlot and some chocolate biscuits. The Merlot? Californian. I’d go for Chilean for the richness in antioxidants, however, the store didn’t have any.

Anyway, these essays covered topics such as art criticism, hypermasculinity and homophobia, and computer-mediated communication and its use by bodybuilders. These works are a fair representation of where I am now as a human being and, after their assessment by my tutors – and, if I am allowed – I will make some or all of them available for you.

Now that’s all behind Me, I am ready to share with you those of you desiring to become submissives another tip. This is somewhat related to My first tip about doing your research into the Dominant/Dominatrix (lady Doms, kindly note the PS) you wish to serve. However the Dom chooses to recruit you, it may be online initially, or you may be invited to interview, one question you may be asked is:

  • WHY do you want to be a slave/submissive/boy? You MUST give this very careful thought. If necessary, spend time with doing some introspection. Don’t just shout back with ‘because you are hot, Sir’. You must be able to describe your need to serve sufficiently for the Dom to decide whether or not H/She wants to continue showing interest in you.

You will almost be certainly rejected if you’re merely coming from the position of ‘you’re hot and I want you to dominate me’. I will share something about this attitude in another blog. There are some Doms who cater for this. If you’re really serious about serving, you will take your time. Some Doms are prepared to wait for as long as it takes for you to ‘get it’. Once you have come to an understanding of the ‘why’ you wish to serve, you and the Dom can then move on to the ‘how’.

Peace…for the Brits, have a great Bank Holiday weekend. For my slaves, subs, friends, supporters and admirers in the US on the East Coast, My thoughts are with you.

I AM…The Blackhulk

PS: Lady Doms, Mistresses – My sincerest apologies to you all should you be feeling excluded from these writings. This is not intentional. My experiences to date have always been with gay men, although I had the opportunity to share a sub with a beautiful dominatrix several years ago with an ex. I also became acquainted with a lesbian who used to serve as a boy for one of my slaves and we got on quite well. For those of you who know Me, you know I am always open to such experiences and relationships.

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